Abuse & Trauma

Reiki Peace Circle: Energize Yourself Sunday, February 15, 2015

You are invited to join me for a Reiki Peace Circle with Gina Bruno, Licensed Massage Therapist and Reiki Master. Gina will lead us to re-energize, reduce stress, stimulate your immune system, alleviate pain, and other symptoms that might be limiting you.

Reiki means “universal life energy” in Japanese. Reiki achieves similar effects as massage therapy. Trained Reiki practitioners can detect and alleviate problems of energy flow on the physical, emotional, and spiritual level.

Gather with us, enjoy the fellowship, and the flow of positive energy we will generate that will benefit yourself and others.

Refreshments provided. No charge. Love offerings accepted.

All my best, Marsha

PS. Feel free to bring a meditation pillow to sit on if you would like.
PSS. For interested first time participants a complimentary Professional Life Coaching conversation may be scheduled with me.

PSS. All participants will receive $10 off a massage with Gina Bruno.

Please contact me if you have questions about the event or how to register.

Thank you for your response. I look forward to seeing you soon!

Sincerely,

Marsha Heiden

Amara Quest, Inc

marsha.heiden@gmail.com

216-780-5068

When

Sunday February 15, 2015 from 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM EST

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Where

Amara Quest, Inc
8322 State Route 305
Garrettsville, OH 44231

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Do Your Intense Emotions Interfere with Effective Communication?

During a difficult conversation with someone have you ever become overwhelmed with emotions (flooding), or withdraw, and can no longer speak (stonewalling)? This is a familiar pattern for many couples during heated conversations regarding sensitive subjects. These intense emotional states can be referred to as stonewalling or flooding. Stonewalling occurs when you shutdown, withdraw, and no longer can speak. It is frequently used to avoid becoming overwhelmed or flooded with emotions outwardly; however, inwardly you may be feeling like you are going to lose control. You may think or feel you are trying to be “neutral” but stonewalling conveys disapproval, disconnection, and sometimes contempt to others. Flooding is most noticeable when there is an outward intense display of emotions. If you are experiencing being flooded you may feel like you drowning in your emotions. Your tears or anger are overwhelming and you are unable to outwardly or inwardly regulate your emotions. Unfortunately stonewalling and flooding behaviors result in ineffective communication with others. When either stonewalling or flooding occurs you are unable to track what is going on with the other person. So although they serve as self protection they prevent you from being able to take in the information that might be helpful in resolving issues. Intense physiological arousal prevents you from hearing and communicating clearly with those you care about is important. In fact when your diffuse physiological arousal reaches high enough states you cannot take in data so you are unable to accurately hear what the other person is saying.

It would be nice if you could simply stop experiencing intense feelings during difficult conversations because you now realize it is ineffective for resolving conflict. Unfortunately this is not the case for most of us. So when you are experiencing a great deal of emotions during a difficult conversation you might want to tell the other person that you need a time-out from the conversation because what is being said is important to you but you are unable to hear in this moment. Let the other person know that you will come back and talk about the issue later. Giving them a time frame is helpful, for example, 20 minutes, tomorrow morning, after dinner then be sure to follow up. Now it is time to reground, self-soothe, and re-center yourself. There are numerous ways that may work for you. Here are a few ideas you might try.

Take a walk.
Take a hot shower or warm bath.
Meditate.
Focus on slowing your breathing down.
Work on a hobby.
Use a progressive relaxation exercise.
Close your eyes and envision being in your favorite vacation spot.
Put on some uplifting music.
Dance.
Make a gratitude list. Remember all the little things.

Experiment and figure out what works for you. Remember the idea is to decrease the intensity of your internal physiological arousal until you are in a place where you can resume the conversation with the other person, and hopefully come to a place of understanding and possibly resolution about a difficult issue.

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Do You Verbally Abuse Yourself? Others?

“The old saying about sticks and stones was wrong. Names will forever hurt you,” says Natalie Sachs-Ericsson a Psychologist and Researcher. We often consider this verbal abuse if it is done to us by others, yet take a step back and “consider all the hurtful things you say to yourself (and/or your children, colleagues, friends) during the course of a day. Those disparaging comments you inflict on yourself will forever hurt you (and others)” writes Joelene Ashker, Life Coach. So, STOP with the negative comments to yourself and everyone else. It’s that simple. STOP…Forgive yourself…Replace it with a truth based on the facts of who you are today, not who you were, or who you told yourself you were, or who someone else told you that you were but actually who you are…today. Do it NOW. Do it EVERY TIME…until you do it without thinking about it. What you focus on you become. Focus on being worthless, you will become worthless. Focus on your value and your value will grow. Remember you are in charge of your own garden! Pull out the weeds, and plant the seeds you want to grow! Copyrighted 2014

Managing Emotional Flooding: How to Quickly Self-Soothe

Here are 5 quick steps to self soothing. When you feel flooded during a conversation or argument take a break. Follow these five steps.* Here are five steps to soothe yourself: breathing, relaxation, heaviness, warmth, and imagery.

Step #1—Breathing
The first step is to get control of your breathing. When you are getting flooded, you will find yourself either holding your breath a lot or breathing shallowly. Change your breathing so it is even and you take deep regular breaths. Take your time inhaling and exhaling. Really focus on the exhale!

Step #2—Relaxation
The second step is to find areas of tension in your body. First tense and then relax these muscle groups. First examine your face, particularly your forehead and jaw, then your neck, shoulders, arms, and back.

Step #3—Heaviness
Let the tension flow out, and let yourself start to feel heavy.

Step #4—Warmth
The fourth step is to imagine your body parts becoming warm.

Secret #5—Imagery
As a fifth step, add a calming image of personal safe place you can envision. The key is to meditate, focusing your attention on one calming vision or idea. It can be a very specific place you go to that was once a very comforting place, such as a forest or a beach. Imagine this place as vividly as you can as you calm yourself down.

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*Based on the work of John & Julie Gottman, PhDs.

Managing Nightmares: Searching for Sleep

Nightmares are a terrifying symptom of PTSD. Sometimes the nightmares are direct representations of the abuse or trauma. Sometimes the nightmares are a jumble of pieces and parts of the traumatic event. Sometimes the nightmares represent the trauma only in its emotional tone. The nightmares often represent unprocessed emotional material from a traumatic event. The cure for nightmares is prolonged exposure therapy which cannot be done without a trained therapist. However, some management is possible to limit the after affect of the nightmare.
The following exercises are often helpful for people that have night-mares:

1. You can write about the nightmare in vivid detail as soon as you wake up. Keep a note book or laptop by your bed.

2. Have a list of five of the things that you do not like to do. You must be able to do them at night without disturbing the rest of your household. When you wake up start with the one that you like to do the least. After you complete it go back to bed. If you are not asleep in 10-15 minutes get back up and do the next thing on the list.

3. Read a boring book if you are able to concentrate.

These exercises may help in alleviating the distress of the nightmares. There are some medications that are helpful in suppressing nightmares, but individuals suffering with PTSD are vulnerable to abusing or becoming addicted to some of these medications to escape the awful feelings that accompany traumatic events. Therefore, I recommend skills, carefully managed and monitored medication use along with prolonged exposure treatment when you are ready.

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Managing Flashbacks: Help Yourself to Stay Grounded

1) Increase your awareness about what happens to you at a physical and physiological level before and during a flashback.

2) Develop an observing self that helps you identify what is happening to you from a non-judgmental and detached perspective. Think “Isn’t this interesting I am (observe and describe just the facts).” As if you are watching yourself on a TV or movie screen.

3) To minimize a flashback ‘ground’ yourself in the moment. Notice in specific detail what is around you. How would you explain to others the room or place you are at in such detail that they could paint a picture of it from the details you provide them.

4) Play word or number games such as crossword puzzles or Sudoku at levels that take minimal to moderate concentration. In other words do not try the most challenging puzzles at this time save those for when you are in a good place. Challenging enough to engage your mind, yet not so challenging you cannot do the exercise. Count backwards from 100. Do it in specific increments like five or seven if that is more helpful. 100, 99, 98; or 100,95,90; or 100, 93, 86. Say the alphabet backwards. List names or places that start with each letter of the alphabet. You can do a multitude of variations of this mind game.

5) Move feelings and thoughts from inside yourself to outside yourself by writing, talking, drawing, painting, or make a collage as a representation of what is going on internally for you.

6) Engage in moderate physical activity (as long as you are medically cleared to exercise) such as walking, planting flowers, cleaning, or bike riding.

7) Play with your favorite pet.

8) Change your space…go to a place that is safe for you.

9) Change physical sensations, take a cold shower or hold ice in your hand. Blast the air conditioning or go stand in the warm sun.

10) Avoid using behaviors that in the long run will become problematic for you or increase the likelihood that symptoms will increase more frequently in the future such as restricting or bingeing food, drinking alcohol or taking prescription medications beyond prescribed limits.

Remember that you will have to practice, and find the techniques that are the most helpful for you in managing symptoms. These techniques are not permanent solutions for more assistance in significantly reducing symptoms contact us.

Copyrighted 2014

What is a Flashback? Between Worlds

A flashback is difficult to define and understand. In simplest terms it is the re-experiencing of a traumatic event in the present. Flashbacks can be full, abreactions or partial. A full flashback is typically not remember-ed by you. You leave the present and relive the event at both a psych-ological and physiological level. If you experience a full flashback you may lose significant amounts of time and be unable to account for that lost time. Others may not be able to arouse you out of this state. After the flashback you may feel like you are losing your mind. You may be afraid to tell others what is happening to you because you are afraid they will think that you are crazy.

A partial flashback is easier to identify. A partial flashback may consist of memories, thoughts, and feelings of a traumatic event typically with accompany feelings in your body. You will feel as if the trauma is happening again yet at some level you are aware of the present. You may feel as if you are living between the past and the present. You may feel the age you were when the traumatic event occurred. If you do not know what is happening to you, you may think you are crazy, especially if it seems to occur without an easily identifiable trigger in your present environment.

Flashbacks are extremely frightening for you and your family because most people do not know what is happening or how to manage these symptoms. Unfortunately many people turn to the use of behaviors that at least in the short run help to manage the symptoms but in long run are self-harming and become less effective over time. You may use drugs, alcohol, dieting, bingeing, purging, over eating, over working, over exercising, obsessions, compulsions, cutting, burning, gambling, sex, or relationships to manage flashbacks.

In many cases these coping measures are effective, sometimes for years. It is not unusual for an individual to enter treatment in their late 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s. It seems at least in the early years of life an individual’s cop-ing mechanisms remain effective with minimal negative impact. You may have entered therapy for other reasons that concern the way you were managing the symptoms. You may have been using or abusing drugs or alcohol, acquired an eating disorder, or some other type of behavior that was negatively impacting your life. What you found was that as you started to recover or stop using your typical methods of coping the flashbacks increased. Relapse is a higher risk when trauma symptoms remain untreated.

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Reduce Anxiety Anywhere Anytime

“Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power.” (Unknown)

You can reduce your anxiety anywhere at anytime through this simple method of breathing. The reason it works is that it manages you anxiety at a physiological level. The simple truth is that when we get anxious we hold our breath. Our bodies then start to panic because we are not breathing and that further increases are anxiety because our brain is saying, “Oh my I cannot breathe! Help!” and our anxiety increases further.

Learning to manage your breathing can significantly reduce your anxiety through the mastery of the simple breathing technique below. The main purpose is to slow your breathing and heart rate which decreases the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream which prevents hyperventilation. Subsequently your blood pressure and muscle tension will decrease with an increased ease and calmness in your mind and body. With practice, this breathing technique will let you decrease anxiety anywhere at anytime without anyone ever having to know you are doing it.

I recommend practicing this exercise several times a day so that it becomes habitual. Giving yourself a physical cue may help initiate the breathing response more quickly when you are in severe distress. For example, forming an “OK” symbol with your thumb and pointer finger or laying two fingers across the inside of your wrist. Something simple, easy to do, and not obvious to others will be the most help.

Breathing Instructions:

1. Take a normal breath in through your nose with your mouth closed.

2. Exhale slowly with your mouth closed.

3. On exhaling, say the word “calm” or “relax” very slowly-for example, “c-a-a-a-l-l-l-m-m-m” or “r-e-e-e-l-l-l-a-a-a-x.”

4. Count slowly to 4 and then take the next normal inhalation.

5. Practice this exercise several times a day, taking 10 to 15 breaths at each practice.

You can use this method when you find yourself in any number of anxiety provoking situations. Do you ever find yourself… Taking an exam! Arguing with your partner! Being given a hard time by your boss! Listening to your children fighting! With way too much going on around you! Running late! Under pressure at work! With too much to do and not enough time to do it! In the slowest grocery line ever! Unable to sit still! Catastrophizing again! Wanting to cry! If so join the crowd and remember that you can relax by simply mastering the simple art of breathing!

“When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.” (Unknown)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8579294

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An Interview with Dr. Heiden: Healing Symptoms of Trauma

What is prolonged exposure therapy? Prolonged exposure therapy is a research based time-limited treatment that successfully decreases posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms in 85% of the people that under- go the treatment by more than 70%. Prolonged exposure is a cognitive-behavioral technique used to reduce the symptoms of post- traumatic stress disorder through a process of desensitizing the client to specific traumatic events.

How can prolonged exposure therapy help posttraumatic stress dis- order? Prolonged exposure therapy decreases the client’s sensitivity to internal and external triggers of historical trauma through a process called imaginal exposure that allows the client’s physiological responses to be modified over time. By decreasing avoidance and experiencing safety during the exposure process the client’s internal processes adjust to the present safe context in which the exposure is being done. This difference allows the client to have fewer and less intense triggers in the environment after a series of imaginal exposures.

What is a typical session using prolonged exposure therapy like for a client? A typical session for a client in prolonged exposure therapy is tough, especially in the beginning. In each session the therapist will work to increase the intensity of the exposure, which often results in increased physiological symptoms during the exposure session. A session is 90 minutes long. It begins with a 15-20 minutes review of the client’s experience during the past week, especially the daily homework the client is to complete. The following 30-40 minutes are spent with the client doing the actual exposure process while the therapist monitors the client’s subjective units of distress, and physical signs of anxiety. The final 20-30 minutes are spent grounding the client in the present, discussing the client’s experience of this exposure and defining the homework for the week.

What last advice would you like to leave for someone who is coping with post traumatic stress disorder and is considering prolonged exposure therapy? Work with an experienced therapist that is trained specifically in prolonged exposure therapy. Have an evaluation by a psychiatrist to see if medication may assist in modulating your trauma symptoms. Medication may make doing the prolonged exposure work manageable and less frightening. Timing is important in the treatment of symptoms for trauma especially if you suffer with co-morbid mental health illnesses. Realize that your symptoms will get worse before they get better, therefore some behavioral issues must be contained in order for the exposure work to be effective. If you use drugs, alcohol, or have an eating disorders or other behaviors that you use to numb or block intense emotions they will decrease the effectiveness of treatment. Therefore, consider treatment for these specific behaviors before and during pro- longed exposure therapy. If you are currently living in abusive or traumatizing environments do not undergo prolonged exposure therapy until you are living in a safe environment.

Do I have PTSD? Defining Symptoms

The criteria for PTSD will be changed in the DSM-V in 2014 and I could give you the current DSM-IV definition but if you have been reading anything at all about PTSD you have already read it and you are still not positive that you meet the criteria for PTSD. Don’t worry you are not alone! So I will attempt to make the criteria itself understandable. While doing so I will take some license in expanding the definition to encompass my ex- perience of PTSD.

My definition is broader than the one in the DSM-IV. The reason I am doing this is that I have found that PTSD is rarely diagnosed in clients that meet other mental health disorder criteria. You are more likely to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety or borderline personality disorder than PTSD, despite the fact the PTSD is possibly the core of these mental health issues in individuals with a history of trauma. My experience is that it goes undiagnosed more times than not. The major liberty I have taken is that I believe people can suffer from PTSD when a significant and abrupt change occurs in their view of the world. For example, the idea that “my world is secure” may be drastically altered if my father dies in a tragic car collision on his way home from work when I am 13. I may not have witnessed the accident, but the impact of that incident on my life may change my worldview drastically. Therefore, I have expanded the first requirement to encompass a change of world view not just an impact on the physical self or witnessing a threat to another. Remember that PTSD can have a delayed onset which can occur years after the event. Some individuals block the event completely for decades typically through the use of skills. Those skills may be healthy or harmful but have been useful to keep the symptoms of trauma at bay.
Criteria for PTSD

A. An event that drastically and suddenly alters your view of the world.
1. Your response is one of intense fear, helplessness or horror.

B. The event is re-experienced by you in one of these ways…
1. Recollections of the event
2. Nightmares
3. Feeling as if you are reliving the event
4. Psychological distress at reminders of the event
5. Physiological distress at reminders of the event

C. Avoidance of stimuli of the event or numbing of general responsive-ness in three or more ways…
1. Avoid internal reminders of the event
2. Avoid external reminders of the event
3. Poor recall of important parts of the event
4. Apathy
5. Detached or estranged feelings from others
6. Limited range of emotions, e.g., numb, or always angry, sad or anxious
7. No plans for the future

D. Increase sensitivity or arousal in two or more ways…
1. Difficulty falling asleep
2. Difficulty staying asleep
3. Difficulty concentrating
4. Hyper-vigilance
5. Easily and overly startled

E. Duration is more than one month.

F. Significant impairment in functioning in one or more areas of your life.

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Have a question? Feel free to ask!

Have a question?
Feel free to ask!