Divorce

Divorce, the Blame Game: No Winners and the Children Are the Biggest Losers

Divorce is epidemic in the United States. Although that might seem concerning, it’s pandemic in the state of Arizona. What does that mean? It means we’ve raised the practice of the divorce blame game to a whole new level.

If you do not have children, you can get away with the blame game. However, even then, it will just show up in your next marriage. That is why we see greater percentages of failed second marriages than first marriages.

If you want to change your life and change your relationships, then start with yourself because that is where responsibility begins and ends.

Reasons People Divorce in Arizona

Divorce is rampant in the United States. An average of 48% of first marriages end in divorce in the US. In Arizona, that figure rises to 67%. It seems catastrophic number, doesn’t it? People that were so madly in love only months or years ago who swore to never live without each other. Remember that line “through sickness and pain” come to a place where they can no longer be under the same roof together.

Divorce: Telling Your Teenager

Teenagers are the easiest and the hardest to inform of your divorce. Reactions can vary from: “it’s about time” to “you can’t divorce,” and everything in between. If the marriage has been highly conflictual between you and your partner, it may be a relief for your teen. If on the other hand, home life has been relatively stable with little apparent conflict for your teen, they may be stunned and then concerned about what that means for him or her. Teens are more likely to take sides with one parent or the other, finding it hard to stay in the middle ground between parents.

How to talk to 6 to 11 year old kids about divorce

Divorce: Telling Children Ages 6 to 11

You and your partner are divorcing. No matter how tough the decision to divorce telling the children is often the most difficult part. Children ages six to eleven are especially difficult to communicate with about divorce. They understand more than toddlers. They can think and talk about their feelings with a somewhat less ego-centered view of themselves than younger children. However, divorce is a concept that children at this age continue to have a hard time fully grasping. Towards the end of this age, range children can assign blame and often see things in a black and white framework. This it is helpful for children to consider that the family is restructuring itself. It will be changing how the family looks and operates.

Divorcing: How to Tell Your Preschooler

Divorce is painful. Telling your children is downright difficult. Here are some basics to consider. First and foremost, let your child know he or she will be safe and cared for especially in these earliest formative years. Children younger than four have few if any memories but after that age they do.

Sad child covering his ears with hands during parents quarrel and argue as they go through a high conflict divorce.

High Conflict Divorce the Effects on Children

Marsha Ferrick, PhD, BCC
“It started with a war between a few
Converted into a war
But who suffered?
The one who was innocent”
Unknown author

Have you ever lived in a war zone? How about a city that has constant air raids and bombs dropping from the air? Most of us have been blessed enough to not have lived in these types of circumstances but some of us have lived in homes where conflict is the norm.

Are you a parent that has a high conflict divorce? Are you concerned about the impact on your children? Good, you need to be. Your children are trapped in a minefield between enemy lines. Every step in any direction is a risk. The wrong word, smile, or acknowledgement to one parent could bring disappointment, sadness, or even wrath from the other parent. It is a dilemma most of us as adults do not want to be in, yet this is the case for your children.

Have a question? Feel free to ask!

Have a question?
Feel free to ask!