Step into Your Knowing

To know love, let the wind dance between you like the sea between souls linking you without yoking you.

paraphrased from Kahlil Gibran

How do we know there is this thing called the wind?

We hear it. we feel it. We revel or revile it. We can choose how we define our experience of it.

The trees, the shrubs, the dust give form to the wind. What is not seen can still become known.

We do not say the wind does not exist because we cannot see it. We bear witness to it in the dust that spins, giving the wind a form, an image, and so we see the wind but not the wind. Its’ form comes dressed in dust, dancing for us, reminding us that presence can be divined without sight.

The wind is present though not seen.

What can you not see but know is present in your life? How do you know? What are the signs?

Check your reality. Is the dust dancing? In the desert I now call home if there is no wind, the dust does not dance.

Your thoughts, feelings, and history meld to become your knowing.

In your body locate your knowing. Sit with your knowing then trust your knowing.

The success in your life is linked to your trust of your knowing.

Find it. Claim it. Be it.

7 Good Reasons to hire a Life Coach

We hear a great deal about the benefits of life coaching these days. Here are a few.

Change your life

Your life will change. Probably for the better. Remember change can be difficult because humans like to remain in homeostasis. Coaching will give you the best result when you are ready to dive in without reservation.

Face the truth

Good coaches tell you the truth. This is important because often no one else will do so. Change requires we acknowledge reality.

Drop your story

You will have to drop your story. We often create ourselves as victims in our lives. A coach will challenge you to own your life, and take responsibility for it.

Show up

You will have to show up. Coaching requires you to show up, do the work, and keep coming back even when it gets tough. I rarely take anyone for coaching at less than a six-month commitment. True transformation takes time, and most people want to quit when things get tough at about the 8 to 12-week mark. Be prepared to stay the course.

Drop the ego

You will come face to face with your humanity, and you will have to let go of your ego. Face your true self. find self-compassion and self-love.  For many this is the greatest struggle of all but necessary for building intimate and supportive relationships.

Letting go

You will have to learn to love what is, and what is not, and come to trust that the world is unfolding as it should without you directing the process.

Find Peace

You will find peace in this moment, and then in the next, and what starts as a challenge will become a positive habit.

Want to hire life coach?

Yes! Congratulations. You are on your way to a better more fulfilling life.

The Benefits of Team Building Activities for Teamwork and Communication

Team: Two or more individuals working toward a common goal.

Teamwork: The ability to work together to gain optimal results.

Communication: The ability to understand another and to make enable another to understand you.

To often individuals are assigned to a team without much thought. Given a goal and told to meet it by a certain date. That’s great if the team can work together and communicate effectively with each other. In a perfect world, everyone would do their job clearly communicate with their team members and gain the goal within the time allowed.

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Shine like Lightning: Life Fulfilling Helping Others

In the midst of a monsoon rain, I found my way to the barn by the occasional bolt of lightning as I traversed the running torrents of water en-route to feed the horses.  I was thankful in that moment for the light created by those bolts of  distant lightning as it assist me through the sheer wall of water cascading from the skies. A welcome and awe inspiring sight in the Arizona desert that I now call home.

This moment sparked some reflection on how some of us are meant to be stars, others of us are meant to be lightning.

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Set Limits Like a Jenny

Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.

Anonymous

It’s her fault, not mine. It’s his fault, not mine. She made me do it. He makes me angry. The language of victims, not owners of their lives. Abdicating the responsibility of our choices is disempowering, and as adults we are ultimately responsible for our feelings, choices, and responses.

In my life, the animal world has served as a wonderful teacher, and metaphor for learning lessons. Here is one I learned from a couple of my little friends.

Gypsy is a Jenny, yes, a little donkey. A miniature to be exact. She hangs out with Mr. Q another mini. He brays too much. He pushes her around at times, until she has had enough of that then she sets a limit, usually a sound kick to his head with both hind feet. Ouch! Really, you’d think he would learn.

When she sets a limit there is no question that enough is enough. Mr. Q being the smart ass, he is respects her limits. One intelligent dude if a bit hard-headed.

Are you setting limits? Good limits? Are you holding those limits? If not remember Gypsy, she is always good at giving us reminders! Setting good limits early on is best. It keeps you from having to be shall we say as forceful as Gypsy!

Or are you like Mr. Q? A bit pushy? Do you get surprised when someone sets a hard limit? Do you respect the limit? Is there a way you might be more aware of your impact on others and soften your approach? A more collaborative approach might be more useful.

The Quest for Boundaries: Honoring Limits, Your, and Others

Boundaries are Invisible Things

Knowing and the Wind

We are more closely connected to the invisible than to the visible.

Novalis

How do we know that the wind exists? How do we know it is wind?

Recognizing

We hear it. we feel it. We revel or revile it. We chose how we define our experience of it.  The trees, the shrubs, the dust are the face of the wind. The visual of what cannot be seen but is seen. There are signs of the wind. We don’t say the wind does not exist because we cannot see it. We bear witness to it in the dust that spins, giving the wind a form, an image, and we can see the wind dressed in the dust it spins, dancing for us, driving us, divining us of all that cannot be seen but is still present.

Knowing, Trusting

What can you not see but know is present? How do you know it is? What are the signs? Check out the reality. Without the wind the dust would not dance? Do you have confirmation that what you think, and feel is truly known to you? I encourage my clients to trust their own knowing.

Do you trust yours? Do you know what it is? How does it come dressed? Want to discuss? Contact me.

Self-Reflection through Loving Compassion

First learn to see yourself, then learn to see others, last help them to see themselves.

Mme Ehrenfried

Humans are amazing. Yet we can be absurdly unaware of ourselves. There are times when other’s can see us more clearly than we can see our own behavior. In a profession such as mine we spend a great deal of time getting clear about ourselves, our history, and our reactions to the world around us. We develop skills to effectively manage and cope in the world with choice, and deliberation. We do this so that we can learn to see others clearly, and then help them to see themselves more accurately. This is no easy task for us or them. It is an ongoing work of self-discovery, unfolding the layers, and serving so others can more effectively help themselves and others. It is for this reason that we take this humbling journey so that we can with love and compassion assist others to be more loving and compassionate with themselves, and others. In this way we pass goodness and love from person to person into the world and we make it a kinder more loving place to be.

Care to increase the kindness in your world? Contact me.

Transformation: Eight Reasons You Don’t Want a Coach

Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.

Rick Warren

This may seem like a strange blog for a coach to write but I find truth telling immensely rewarding. I find it interesting that most people respond so well to truths. So here are a few regarding why you do not want to hire a coach.

Life Changing

  1. Your life will change. Probably for the better. But change can be difficult, and honestly, we humans like to remain in homeostasis.

Truth Telling

  1. They will tell you the truth. If you don’t like to hear the truth even when delivered in a kind way. Don’t hire a coach.

Drop Your Story

  1. You will have to drop your story. We often create ourselves as victims in our life. A coach will challenge you to own your life, and take responsibility for it. And well that just sucks sometimes.

There’s a Cost

  1. It will cost you money. Good coaching rarely comes cheap. And we rarely invest fully unless we put some skin in the game. Coaches want individuals that want to change and are willing to put their money on the table to prove it.

Showing Up

  1. You will have to show up. Coaching requires you show up, do the work, and keep coming back even when it gets tough. I rarely take anyone for coaching at less than a six-month commitment because true transformation takes time and most people want to quite when things get tough at 8-12 weeks.

Humanity

  1. You will come face to face with your humanity, and you will have to let go of your ego. Face your true self, and find self-compassion and love. For many of us this is the greatest struggle of all.

Trust

  1. You will have to learn to love what is, and what is not, and come to trust that the world is unfolding as it should without you directing the process.

Peace

  1. You will find peace in this moment, and then in the next, and it will be a challenge each day to stay in this moment, not in the past, or in the future.

Transformation

It would seem the things we desire are also they things we run from. It takes immense courage to go for things we desire but more than that it takes grit and tenacity. The start of the journey is easy. It is staying the course that remains the true challenge for most of us. A coach is a sojourner through the tough times. A coach helps you through those times with a perspective that is unattached to the outcome yet loving and compassionate. Take a coach on your next journey but only if you want to reach the finish line.

Still don’t want a coach? Great contact me let’s talk!

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Interpersonal Conflict: I’m the Problem?

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.

Ronald Reagan

Some months back I wrote a blog entitled, Drop the Anchor, an article about owning responsibility in times of conflict. Interpersonal conflict can be easy or difficult depending on the personal insight of each participant.

I’m NOT the Problem

One of my thoughtful readers wrote back, “But what if it isn’t my problem? I mean is it always my problem? When does someone else have to take responsibility for their behavior.”  It was a great question, and I love to have conversations with people, so I contacted the writer and we connected the next day! (I love this job!)

I Do My Best

The reality is we can at times do our very best and still have conflicts with others. People get upset and angry. They don’t like our choices. They think they know how to do things better, and that they are right.  However, their being upset doesn’t need to constitute a problem for us.  Unless we choose to let it.

Truth is Variable

The truth is that maybe they are right, maybe they aren’t, or maybe there is no right or wrong. The part that is our problem is the internal chaos that goes on within us.  We cannot change the other person’s thoughts, actions, and behaviors. We can only manage our own, and that is the part that is my problem.

We cannot change what comes out of someone else’s mouth. We cannot change what they say, do or don’t say or do. It’s a free country, and we can think and act as we chose.

Is it Useful

People can criticize us. We may not like it much but that doesn’t stop people from doing it. We can choose to ignore it, feel hurt about it, argue against it, or grow from it.  We can choose to examine if there is any truth in what they say or not. We might find some truth in what they say, and grow from it, or perhaps it doesn’t fit so we can throw it out. What we don’t have to do is swallow what someone else says as the gospel truth, or that possibly any of it’s true. We can simple examine the statement and decide is there something of use for us in it. If not, we can toss it out.  If so, we take what is useful, learn from it, and get rid of the rest.

Ultimately, what comes out of one’s mouth is about them. It is the projected stuff people do not see or want to see about themselves that compels them to place it out in the environment because they don’t have the ego strength to own it for themselves. Of course, we are no exception to this rule.

Interpersonal Conflict, A Personal Lesson

Engaging with others is always a learning opportunity. The bigger the conflict the more we learn about ourselves, and about the other person. As our awareness increases we can improve our skills, and move forward with our lives. Conflicts serve to teach us useful life lessons, if we choose to learn from them.

Want to learn more? Contact me.

 

Drop the Anchor

What are the Benefits of Good Conflict Resolution Skills?

 

Time: Can We Perfectly Control it?

Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should

Max Ehrmann

The universe doesn’t care about my timetable. It has its own. I find this frustrating, and true. In my moments of sheer grandiosity, I think I know best how to run the world. Of course, I am repeatedly proven wrong, as the world unfolds perfectly as it should in its own time. Obviously, I have not yet reached permanent radical acceptance of my limitations in running the world. Slowing down to life, waiting for it to unfold in its’ own perfection is clearly among my growing edges. I would say faults but growing edges, sounds so much nicer.

The Perfect Time

My frustration is not just with the world, and others but also with myself because I am not moving fast enough or have not finished something yet that I “should have.” Inevitably when I do complete something the timing becomes perfect for what then evolves, and I reflect on why I create so much self-suffering instead of trusting that things will get completed as they are supposed to do so.

Time to Wait

For instance, I have a horse trailer to sell. It needs a couple repairs before I put it on the market. I tried three times to call the dealer and get to the service department today. I could feel my frustration rising and I decided today was not the day I was going to schedule the appointment, maybe it would be tomorrow or the next day. Whatever day it is it will be the right day! How do I know? Because I will get to the person I need to who can schedule the appointment for me. We could argue poor customer service at the trailer company. Indeed, that could be true, however, whatever the issue, today was not the day to schedule the appointment.

Slowing Down

Slowing down to the speed of life often feels like I am walking through water up to my waist when I’d prefer to be walking on water. Clearly running the world is not written in my stars, unfortunately, my superpower status will have to wait.

Drop the Cape

Where are you trying to be a superpower when you might be better off just being you? Is it time to give your superpowers a rest? Not sure? Let’s talk

 

7 Myths of Empowerment

Jackie of All Trades, Mastery of None

Is it an Obstacle or an Opportunity?