Drop the Anchor!

The bad news is I’m the problem. marshachair 214x300 - Drop the Anchor!
The good news is if I’m the problem I’m also the solution!

Steve Chandler

Have you ever had problems with someone only to discover you are the problem?

This happens to me all the time. I hate to admit it but it is true. I’ve tried to be perfect but of course that always fails because I’m not. Then I have tried to deny and blame the other, but that always backfires because I always have a part in it. At times, I have tried to pretend as if I have it all together, but then of course I’m fooling no one because I don’t. So, then I beat myself up for being so perfectly imperfect. Then wow, I get so excited because I have indeed found something that I can do correctly. I can in fact be perfectly imperfect!

Unfortunately, my ego so hates being wrong, human, and facing my own fallibility that I give myself quite a verbal tongue lashing. It would so much simpler if I stopped making myself miserable, and became okay with my perfect imperfections. Yet in my humanness I to often chose to hold onto the anchor of negative self talk that takes me down, instead of dropping this needless anchor of ego I carry round, and allow myself to graciously and joyfully float up the ladder of consciousness. Which can be done so simply by taking a deep breath, and letting go of my need to blame myself and others  and stop creating painful thoughts and emotions for myself!

Where can you drop the anchor of your ego?

How could you float up the ladder of consciousness?

When do you need to take a deep breath and let go?

What would it be like to remove your ego from the driver’s seat, and let your loving self take charge of your journey?

Would you like a place to explore letting go and moving up the ladder of consciousness? Then visit the websites below for information regarding the retreats I am offering this fall in beautiful Arizona! Join me in exploring our humanness with joy and grace!

Attend an Upcoming Retreat

      October – The Power of Your Presence

      November – Yoga and Horses

 

Your Posture, Impacts You

Be fully in the moment, open yourself to the powerful energies dancing around you.
Ernest Hemingway

We know that our posture impacts how others see us, but did you know it also may impact how we feel about ourselves? We know that a change in facial expression such as a half-smile can lighten our mood. Amy Cuddy’s research supports the idea that intentional changes in our body posture impacts our physiology, thus changing how we feel about ourselves.

Here is a short clip of Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk discussing the impact of body posing on physiology.

Amy Cuddy Shortened Ted Talk

If you are so inclined here is Amy’s Ted Talk in its’ entirety!

Body Language and Presence

Amy Cuddy discusses power poses in this video.

Power Poses

Practice using a power pose(s) throughout your day to move yourself to an emotional space of confidence, peace, power, and contentment. Does it change how you feel? Are you a powerful, peaceful person? Yes? Would you like to be even more powerful, present, and peaceful? If so, let me know!

The Value of Knowing Nothing

Communication solves all problems.
Steve Chandler

What is the value of knowing nothing about another?

This might be the one truth that is truly useful in forming and maintaining relationships, team building, and leadership. It forces us to call on our curiosity to learn about someone else and their circumstances.

Simple wonder, awe, sincere question asking creates a state that allows us to call forth that which is not yet known to either of us. Thus, providing a solid foundation for insight, exploration, and exchange.

Questions create clarity and understanding.

desireemarsha 214x300 - The Value of Knowing Nothing

What if You are Perfect?

q 214x300 - What if You are Perfect?I mean perfect as you are…that you did not need to change anything about yourself.

What if you knew that at the very core of yourself that you were not flawed but whole, and wise? That no matter what anyone said, or did past, or present, you did not question the wonder of who you are? You did not question what you knew to be true for you, and that it was okay for it not to be true for everyone.

What if you trusted your own choices?

What if it is perfect for you to change your mind? To make another choice?

What if it is perfectly okay to create the life you wanted?

And it is perfectly okay to ask for assistance, if it would be helpful to you!

 

The Space Between

Life is lived in the expansion and contraction of the breath. Life is lived between the seconds, between the cells in the moments of presence to what is now in this moment…the moment inside me, the moment outside me, the moment in the connection to all that is greater than me. Expansion to see beyond me, Contraction to see within me. To be me, here, now before it becomes next. Life lived in this very breath, moment, space is where you find love and peace.
Expand, Contract, Breathe between your cells, the seconds, and find peace in the now.
No peace? Contact me to find peace.

Horses & Lunch

marsha and fin energy work - Horses & Lunch

Marsha Ferrick Coaching

The feminine energy of the mare pulls the herd. The masculine energy of the stallion pushes the herd. In concert, they keep the herd fed, watered and safe. They interact as a community. The energy of the lead mare and the stallion are different. She prefers to be followed. She is ahead of the group. She determines the forward momentum. The stallion follows his herd. He keeps them together, and he is the first line of defense, if a predator threatens the herd. He is typically bold in comparison to the wariness of his lead mare who trusts slowly, and approaches cautiously, if at all.

Last week I hosted a group of twenty + from around the globe to experience the power of Equine Collaborated Coaching at Full Circle Ranch B&B in Cave Creek, AZ. This is what Dave shared with me after he returned home from the event.

“I had a chance to use it as soon as I got home. Making lunches in my house has been a HUGE fight for years as we ask our kids, ages 7 and 9, to do it themselves. It usually involves lots of yelling, threatening, and then eventually me doing it for them.

After our work with the horses, I realized that my son responds well to pushing (masculine or yang) energy and my daughter pulling (feminine or yin) energy. So, when it came time, I told my son he needed to make his lunch and then pushed my energy towards the fridge with him in front of me. When he started to wander off, as he always does, a few minutes in, I just stepped in front of him and gently pushed my energy back toward him and his lunch. He went so easily!!!! Lunch was made, no problem.

With my daughter, we usually push and push with no response. So today after telling her it was time and she didn’t respond I just said, ‘Hey Scarlette, I’m just going to go ahead and do it for you,’ and started pulling things out. She immediately stepped in and did it all herself.

My wife was floored.”

What David did so adeptly was to generalize the herd dynamics he had learned in the Equine Collaborated Coaching session to social interactions with others, in this case his children. Once he understood the energy dynamic in his children, he could manage his internal energy in a way that guided his children to make their own lunches without drama, and in a cooperative manner. Voila! Peaceful family lunch-making time!

Where do things fall apart for you in relationships? Are there times and situations in which you are puzzled by the dynamics that occurs between you and others? Do you have difficulty with certain people? If so, consider your energy. Do you push people or pull people? How about the individuals around you? What energy do they put out? How do you manage your energy with others?

If this sounds interesting to you, and you would like to discuss it contact me.

Love, Marsha
PS. Our April, Power of Your Presence Retreat is already full, so hold your space in our October Power of Your Presence Retreat now!

Not Most Folks!

You can worry about most people all day but I can
promise you they are not worried about you.  Almost all growth that’s
available to you exists when you aren’t most people and when
you work hard to appeal to folks that are not most people.
Seth Godin

Have you ever had something that you wanted to do and you were very excited about it? Then you told people about it and you received pained looks, panicked expressions, head shakes, oh no, and questions such as, “Why would you want to do that?” And your excitement went flat, your balloon was flattened, the wind beneath your wings disappeared?

I was born loving horses. I wanted to ride, train, and breed horses, and it was not a career choice my parents were thrilled about me pursing… a vet, a doctor, an attorney, a business owner… yes, but a horse trainer. Well it wasn’t something they thought I could do and support myself.

Can anyone relate? I am sure some of you can.

What I didn’t know then is that growth occurs when we don’t listen to most people. Growth occurs when we go deep inside, take a step, find our path, and live true to it. Growth stops when we fail to trust our own journey, and listen to the well-meaning but un-supportive and often bad advice of others.

Find people that support that path. Find people that want to join the journey, and serve them.

Who supports your path? Do you? Who else?

Need support? Can’t find your path? Let’s talk.

And remember don’t be most people!

Who are You Fooling?

Are you a good follower? Per Seth Godin in his book Tribes, people are becoming ever better at following, but not learning to lead. They’re following instructions, following directions, following the pack, and honing their skills-but hiding. Hiding from the fear of leading. Are you fooling yourself by following? Are you the good kid, wife, mother, father, employee, spouse, partner? Do you do all that is expected to people please, people please, and people please some more but no one is ever honestly pleased, especially you? Are you hiding by following? Doing all the right things? What if you didn’t? What if you stopped hiding, stopped following, and began to lead? What would that look like? What would you create? What would be different in your home, your work, your life? Tell me what that would look like for you.

It’s an Inside Job!

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living
every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
Denis Waitley

The reality of change. Change is an internal job. Why would I say that? Aren’t I always going on about moving into action suggesting that change comes from taking actions? Well yes, external change always comes from action, and sometimes internal change comes from changing our externals, BUT here is the catch not always. The highest level of change comes when you master changing your own inner reality. What does that mean?

Try this brief exercise. First remember an extremely happy moment in your life. Close your eyes and put yourself into that moment as if it were happening right now. Use all your senses. Notice how you are feeling in your body and in your emotions. Write down a few words that described how you feel as you are in this vision.

Now consider a time when you were sad or angry. Close your eyes and put yourself into that moment as if it were happening right now. Use all your senses. Notice how you are feeling in your body and in your emotions. Write down a few words that described how you feel as you are in this vision.

Look at your descriptor words for the two events. Were they different? Why were they different? They were different because YOU changed your internal state. What? Yes, YOU changed your internal state of being. You create thoughts, images and feelings that made you both, happy, and sad/angry.

So what does this mean? It means you get to decide how you feel. You get to decide at any given moment what your inner landscape is going to look like. Wow! Who knew…Now that you can change your internal landscape when you want (it takes a bit of practice), you can position yourself to make greater, and more creative changes in your external life. Whether you make these changes or not won’t be because you feel forced to do so by internal or external circumstances, but because you chose to do so. The differences between wanting to and having to…is the difference between empowering yourself, or taking the default victim role in life.

The good news is you get to choose which role you play in your life story!

Not sure how? Let’s talk.

Numb to the Possibilities

I am in the midst of reading, Steve Chandler’s newest book, Death Wish about recovery from addiction. In it he mentions a conversation between publisher Maurice Bassett and blogger Adam Adams. Adams was quoted as saying, “the greatest addiction is familiarity addiction”. Steve quotes Maurice as writing, “It does seem that familiarity is a powerful yet subtle addiction. Staying in our comfort zones, not risking… Going numb to our own possibilities.”

Upon reading this I yelled, “Yes, that’s it!” It is this complacency I experience all around me. When I ask others, “How are you? What is going on in your world? ” I am met with fine, good, okay. Life is the status quo. Ugh, I’d rather hear awful, terrible, hard, or awesome, incredible, exciting, or at the very least interesting.

Why, because at least I know those in the latter category are growing, learning, and alive to their own possibilities. It may not be of their own making. Life may be delivering them a large nudge to grow, learn, and change, or they may be creating the circumstances to do that themselves. Either way there is hope! They are alive!

By choice or circumstance they are awake, and in being awake we are able to create an incredible life.

Are you numbing out with the familiar or something else? Are you curled up in your comfort zone? Where might you stretch 1-5% beyond your comfort zone? Where might you re-awaken, and become alive?

Email me, I would love to about your possibilities!