Be fully in the moment, open yourself to the powerful energies dancing around you.
We know that our posture impacts how others see us, but did you know it also may impact how we feel about ourselves? We know that a change in facial expression such as a half-smile can lighten our mood. Amy Cuddy’s research supports the idea that intentional changes in our body posture impacts our physiology, thus changing how we feel about ourselves.
Here is a short clip of Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk discussing the impact of body posing on physiology.
If you are so inclined here is Amy’s Ted Talk in its’ entirety!
Amy Cuddy discusses power poses in this video.
Practice using a power pose(s) throughout your day to move yourself to an emotional space of confidence, peace, power, and contentment. Does it change how you feel? Are you a powerful, peaceful person? Yes? Would you like to be even more powerful, present, and peaceful? If so, let me know!
What is the value of knowing nothing about another?
This might be the one truth that is truly useful in forming and maintaining relationships, team building, and leadership. It forces us to call on our curiosity to learn about someone else and their circumstances.
Simple wonder, awe, sincere question asking creates a state that allows us to call forth that which is not yet known to either of us. Thus, providing a solid foundation for insight, exploration, and exchange.
Questions create clarity and understanding.
I mean perfect as you are…that you did not need to change anything about yourself.
What if you knew that at the very core of yourself that you were not flawed but whole, and wise? That no matter what anyone said, or did past, or present, you did not question the wonder of who you are? You did not question what you knew to be true for you, and that it was okay for it not to be true for everyone.
What if you trusted your own choices?
What if it is perfect for you to change your mind? To make another choice?
What if it is perfectly okay to create the life you wanted?
And it is perfectly okay to ask for assistance, if it would be helpful to you!
The feminine energy of the mare pulls the herd. The masculine energy of the stallion pushes the herd. In concert, they keep the herd fed, watered and safe. They interact as a community. The energy of the lead mare and the stallion are different. She prefers to be followed. She is ahead of the group. She determines the forward momentum. The stallion follows his herd. He keeps them together, and he is the first line of defense, if a predator threatens the herd. He is typically bold in comparison to the wariness of his lead mare who trusts slowly, and approaches cautiously, if at all.
Last week I hosted a group of twenty + from around the globe to experience the power of Equine Collaborated Coaching at Full Circle Ranch B&B in Cave Creek, AZ. This is what Dave shared with me after he returned home from the event.
“I had a chance to use it as soon as I got home. Making lunches in my house has been a HUGE fight for years as we ask our kids, ages 7 and 9, to do it themselves. It usually involves lots of yelling, threatening, and then eventually me doing it for them.
After our work with the horses, I realized that my son responds well to pushing (masculine or yang) energy and my daughter pulling (feminine or yin) energy. So, when it came time, I told my son he needed to make his lunch and then pushed my energy towards the fridge with him in front of me. When he started to wander off, as he always does, a few minutes in, I just stepped in front of him and gently pushed my energy back toward him and his lunch. He went so easily!!!! Lunch was made, no problem.
With my daughter, we usually push and push with no response. So today after telling her it was time and she didn’t respond I just said, ‘Hey Scarlette, I’m just going to go ahead and do it for you,’ and started pulling things out. She immediately stepped in and did it all herself.
My wife was floored.”
What David did so adeptly was to generalize the herd dynamics he had learned in the Equine Collaborated Coaching session to social interactions with others, in this case his children. Once he understood the energy dynamic in his children, he could manage his internal energy in a way that guided his children to make their own lunches without drama, and in a cooperative manner. Voila! Peaceful family lunch-making time!
Where do things fall apart for you in relationships? Are there times and situations in which you are puzzled by the dynamics that occurs between you and others? Do you have difficulty with certain people? If so, consider your energy. Do you push people or pull people? How about the individuals around you? What energy do they put out? How do you manage your energy with others?
If this sounds interesting to you, and you would like to discuss it contact me.
Are you a good follower? Per Seth Godin in his book Tribes, people are becoming ever better at following, but not learning to lead. They’re following instructions, following directions, following the pack, and honing their skills-but hiding. Hiding from the fear of leading. Are you fooling yourself by following? Are you the good kid, wife, mother, father, employee, spouse, partner? Do you do all that is expected to people please, people please, and people please some more but no one is ever honestly pleased, especially you? Are you hiding by following? Doing all the right things? What if you didn’t? What if you stopped hiding, stopped following, and began to lead? What would that look like? What would you create? What would be different in your home, your work, your life? Tell me what that would look like for you.
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living
every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
The reality of change. Change is an internal job. Why would I say that? Aren’t I always going on about moving into action suggesting that change comes from taking actions? Well yes, external change always comes from action, and sometimes internal change comes from changing our externals, BUT here is the catch not always. The highest level of change comes when you master changing your own inner reality. What does that mean?
Try this brief exercise. First remember an extremely happy moment in your life. Close your eyes and put yourself into that moment as if it were happening right now. Use all your senses. Notice how you are feeling in your body and in your emotions. Write down a few words that described how you feel as you are in this vision.
Now consider a time when you were sad or angry. Close your eyes and put yourself into that moment as if it were happening right now. Use all your senses. Notice how you are feeling in your body and in your emotions. Write down a few words that described how you feel as you are in this vision.
Look at your descriptor words for the two events. Were they different? Why were they different? They were different because YOU changed your internal state. What? Yes, YOU changed your internal state of being. You create thoughts, images and feelings that made you both, happy, and sad/angry.
So what does this mean? It means you get to decide how you feel. You get to decide at any given moment what your inner landscape is going to look like. Wow! Who knew…Now that you can change your internal landscape when you want (it takes a bit of practice), you can position yourself to make greater, and more creative changes in your external life. Whether you make these changes or not won’t be because you feel forced to do so by internal or external circumstances, but because you chose to do so. The differences between wanting to and having to…is the difference between empowering yourself, or taking the default victim role in life.
The good news is you get to choose which role you play in your life story!
Not sure how? Let’s talk.