Relationship Makers or Breakers

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Theresa

Relationships are about belonging. What makes or breaks a relationship? Belonging is a major component of maintaining a relationship. Belonging is an emotional connection with others that creates an inner peace. So, how do I know I belong?

I belong when someone…
– pays attention to what I am saying and doing.
– really hears what I am saying.
– empathizes with the story I am telling.
– can reflect the essence of what I am sharing.
– respects my words, thoughts, and beliefs.
– accepts me as I am without trying to change me.
– honors the boundaries I assert.
– can share who they are with me.
– can tolerate my directness without distress.

How do you know when you belong?

Here is a great video by Sue Johnson, PhD.

How to Love/Belong Intelligently

 

Principles of Great Relationships

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw
Certainly, the Golden Rule has value yet Shaw’s quote makes us reflect on the principles of great relationships. The basic principles of great relationships, according to Williams and Thomas, are to remember that people are different, so treat them accordingly. Next, build the esteem of others which motivates them through love, and not fear. Love is far more potent. Third, interact with others with choiceful behavior using the facts before you, and absent habitual reactions of the past. Last, remember that when we like ourselves, we like others, and others like us.

Which principle will you focus on to take your relationship from good to great today?

9508499249f049029570dd19a9a1e0d1 - Principles of Great Relationships

Diverse relationships are crucial for paradigm shifts.

Extraordinary Relationships

Creating extraordinary relationships requires regular emotional deposits, and minimal withdrawals.
Stephen Covey


Who doesn’t want extraordinary relationships? I love my extraordinary relationships. Don’t you? What makes them extraordinary? Emotional deposits are one thing that makes a relationship extraordinary.

When am I making emotional deposits? When I create acts of kindness, keep promises, have and honor clear agreements, speak well of others in their absence, apologize, and forgive. However, it is not enough to just make emotional deposits I must minimize emotional withdrawals. Emotional withdrawals can be acts of unkindness, broken promises, unclear expectations or non-existent agreements, disloyal in word or deed, never apologizing, or never forgiving.

Are you making more emotional deposits than withdrawals in your relationships? Are you wondering why your relationships are not extraordinary? What actions will you take to make more emotional deposits today in order to begin to make your relationships
extraordinary?

Out of the Box

Creative thinking – in terms of idea creativity – is not a mystical talent. It is a skill that can be practised and nurtured.
Edward de Bono


To have the life you want you will need to think creatively. Creative thinking is a skill that can be learned. Thinking creatively requires looking beyond your normal thinking. Out of the box thinking requires making novel combinations, metaphors, analogies, taking on a different world view, make unique connections, disconnect typical connections, make reversals, do the opposite, view it from a different angle, look for the exceptions, the accidental, look for what you were not looking for, write everything down without judgment, elaborate on every idea, allow your subconscious to work. Then create the life you want.

Freedom from Fear

Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success.

Martha Stewart
Closed minds exist because we are afraid to move out of our comfort zones. We can spot a closed mind by noting excuses, and rationalizations. On the other hand open mindedness comes from natural curiosity and the desire to discover new information. Open mindedness comes from practicing the management of our thoughts through visualization, affirmations, positive verbalization, acting as if, feeding our minds with the right stuff, associating with positive people, and by teaching others what you learn.
Today how can you open your mind 5% more?

Dynamic Balance

Success, although personally defined is obtained only when one leads a dynamically balanced life that prioritizes life responsibilities in this way…

 

1. Self-Care and Self-Responsibility

2. Partner Relationship

3. Parent/Child Relationship(s)

4. Friendships

5. Career/Work/Job

 

If your road to success is strewn with obstacles consider for a moment where you spend your time.

Reward Yourself

To be assertive is to be effective and constructive.

Assertiveness requires…

Listening.

Curious questions.

Clarifying.

Validation of the other’s perspective.

Slow, soft speaking.

Gentle repetition of what you want.

A nonjudgmental stance.

Patience.

Alternative offers.

Accepting no.

A reward for the smallest achievement.