The secrets to helping someone create the life they want are paradoxically so simple to speak about, and so hard to commit to for the long run. You see when coaching is great, the answer appears so clear to you that you feel foolish that you even had to talk to your coach about it. In those greatest of moments, the coach says nothing. They simply help you slow down to the speed of life and hold a space for you to listen to your inner knowing.
A great coach will assist you in establishing life changing insights and awareness, and place them into regular practice. These insights, and awareness emerge from the following concepts.
It Comes from Within
Wisdom comes from within, not without, so listen to and trust your own sense of knowing. Too often we are in our heads or our hearts too much. We don’t become still, quiet and listen to what we know to be true for us. When we fail to do this, we make poor decisions, and become victims of our thoughts, emotions, and extraneous stimuli, like other people and messages in our environment. I am not saying to not listen to others. I am saying given all you know and feel wait until you are clear about what you know, you need to do for you.
Create clarity around what you value. It helps to be clear about what you value, and how you prioritize those values in determining where you want to go in life and how you want to get there. Values and priorities change over time so re-evaluating them periodically makes sense.
Be present in each moment then move on to next. Life happens in this moment not the past moment or the future moment so the key to living it is to show up now for whatever is before you. Too often we are somewhere else in our minds not considering the present moment thus missing it.
SLOW down to the speed of life. Busyness is our way of avoiding that which is most important in our lives. It is a wide spread addiction in our culture. If I am busy enough I don’t have to deal with my bad relationships, my intense emotions, my crappy job, or my failing business. Unfortunately, running at full speed keeps us from seeing and dealing with the truth of what is going, and then finding the answers to the challenges I need. By simply slowing down and attending to what is in front of me the answers begin to appear, and the solutions become self-evident.
Be gentle with yourself and others. Self-criticism and other criticism is often our knee jerk reaction. Letting go of judging ourselves and others is tough. It is so ingrained within us that we are rarely aware of all the ways we criticize inwardly or outwardly. Begin to pay attention to your thoughts and make a commitment to truth telling in a kind way.
Staying high on the emotional ladder may seem like a challenge, and certainly there are days that can feel challenging. However, we have some choice in how we feel, and that is often based on the story we decide to tell ourselves about our life.
Create Your Life
Create life stories that work for you not against you. When things happen, we can decide how we want to look at them. We can decide it is the best things that ever happened or the worst, or somewhere in between. The word decide is the key. Deciding requires choosing, and choosing allows us to own our life, not be a victim of it.
Stay on the path-focus. Focus gets lost in life. We forget what we want to create, build, enjoy, or do in life, and well life just happens, and rolls on without us being aware that we can in fact influence our journey. Clarity regarding what we want and where we are going assists us in getting there. Continuing to course correct when our focus moves off our path ensures we don’t take any long-term detours.
Act from Love
Act from love not from fear. When we act from fear we are in fact reacting, not acting. When we act, we are choosing, when fear is involved we are reacting. When we take an action toward ourselves or others, an action of love moves us forward into the life we want to create. Our reaction to fear proports us into another place and we lose sight of what is important and what we want to create.
Therefore, the secrets of life coaching you to live successfully for resides in encouraging you to self-reflect, stay true to your own values, slow down, and become present to your current situation. Then proceed to be truthful, gentle, positive, and kind as you return your focus over, and over again to the life you desire. Acting from love take the next right step, and then the next, over and over again until you achieve your goal.