Anxiety, Letting Go of the Terrorist Within

Rule your mind or it will rule you.
 
Horace, Roman Poet, 65 BC-8 BC

 

Every morning I laugh as my beautiful yearling filly, Desiree terrorizes herself. She is positive that there must be something of interest for her in the manure bucket! Her head goes into the big black tub, she shoves the plastic fork around, and pulls at the bucket until something tips over, and she scares herself. Off she runs frightened by her own self, and I laugh, thinking that is so silly that she keeps creating anxiety for herself. However, I do the same thing. I terrorize myself with thoughts of doom and gloom! What if…? Is one of my favorite anxiety mantras, and of course the “What ifs…” are too often not the positive kind. I end up terrorizing myself, and then dealing with the fear and anxiety I have managed to self-create. Not really the best life plan!

 

Anxiety Self-Talk

How about you? Can you relate? Do you walk around anxious or afraid? Does it feel like this is how you live your entire day and night? Do you have times when you walk around terrorizing yourself?  Do you create anxiety through scary thoughts that help keep you afraid? “There isn’t enough… There is too much… I will never… I can’t…”  Personally terrorizing yourself can become a fine art. Instead of watching a horror movie all you need to do is sit alone with your own thoughts, and voila! You have tortured and terrorized yourself.
 

Anxiety Antidote

Instead consider slowing down. Look at the facts in this moment, and you may find you are living in some fantasy future you have created in your mind that is awful.  You have slid down the proverbial emotional ladder to rock bottom… fear, and the outcome is what you would expect when you are afraid… You freeze, and do nothing, you fight and create drama, or you run and avoid the peacefulness of being in the here and now. Where everything is ok, and where you can rise up the emotional ladder to peace. Like to learn how? Contact me.
 
 
 
 
 

Be the Moon!

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
Alexander Graham Bell

When plan A, B, C, D, and, E fail, what then?

Plan F of course!

We all know that plans rarely if ever go as expected. In fact, I am always somewhat amazed anymore when a challenge doesn’t come into play. When I was younger this would upset me, and I would focus on what didn’t go right, and why it didn’t go right, but what I didn’t realize was that by not focusing on, what was next, or the opportunity that was presenting itself, I became stuck in quagmire of the past, not in the solution focused present.

I am not saying that it isn’t good to reflect on what happened so we do not make similar mistakes over and over again but let’s not stand there staring so long we miss the open door in front of us!

Be creative! Keep moving! Don’t stop! Pause and consider “maybe” but don’t meander around stirring the old muck. Life’s too short for second guessing, and if we wait too long the opportunity that awaits us may pass us by, as does our lives, if we do this too much, and for too long. Walk through the open door, and grab the next opportunity! Think how interesting life will be! Consider what there is to learn! Find out how creative you can become by looking at what is, not at what could have been!

What opportunity is before you now?

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A Star is Born!

Misuse of the Imagination

Major Nesmeth was a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. For seven years he was confined to a small cage. To keep his sanity, he played an imaginary eighteen holes of golf daily. He would use his range of senses to clearly visualize every swing and shot. After his release he found he had shave 20 points off his old average score. As far as his mind and body were concerned he had played all those games that he had spent practicing, and refining, and perfecting using his imagination.  (Paraphrased from Jane Savoie, That Winning Feeling)
Nesmeth’s amazing improvement in performance is just one example of what research has shown us (Maltz, 1960), the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between actual and vivid imaginary practice. What a wonderful finding! Athletes, and performers of all types have embraced this new knowledge and applied it to improving the skills they wish to master.
Since our imagination is that powerful in helping us improve performance think how you might be utilizing it to sabotage yourself. Do you regularly visual disaster? Worst case scenarios? Doing the wrong thing? Consider what you could do if you did not misuse use your imagination but in fact utilized it to create the relationships, success, and freedom that you want?
3b2962b2ed5e4f98a0ad4469fbb53a9b - Misuse of the Imagination

 

FUSTER CLUCK MEDIATION

What is a Fuster Cluck?

A fuster cluck occurs when someone lets the fox into the hen house!

Ever have one of those days when you feel like you have been hit by a tornado before you get that first cup of caffeine? I have days like that when at 4:30 AM the dogs want out, I cannot find my socks, and have misplaced my glasses. The horses cannot find their own stalls (even though they go in them every other day perfectly fine), the light bulb is out in the tack room, and I cannot find the feed supplements anywhere! Never mind the frozen buckets of ice in the horse stalls and footing so slick I think I need ski poles to keep me upright! Yikes! What a way to start the day.

When things go awry I get to make a choice, I can jump in and join the insanity going on around me like a crazy hyena, or I can stand back, and observe the entertainment going on before me. Now mind you this is my circus, and these are my monkeys (or should I say horses, and dogs) but it doesn’t mean I need to join them at center stage. In fact, when I stop, breathe, shake my head, and smile at the insanity going on about me the monkeys start to calm down, the horses find their stalls, I locate my glasses, and life starts to fall into place, and well I am just a bit more grateful for that cup of caffeine when I actually do get it.

Remember the next time your in a fuster cluck, just smile, and enjoy the show. Life really is here for our amusement. Don’t take it too seriously even if it is your circus and your monkeys!

Are You Productive or Just Busy?

“Excessive busyness is a form of show business. It has no place in the real world of straight-line effectiveness,”

Dusan Djujukich

busybee - Are You Productive or Just Busy?

Finally, I have cut through the cr** if I am too busy I am not being productive period!

Productive work reduces busyness it does not increases it.  Sure being busy sounds good. It looks good, but it really is about going around and around without really getting anywhere.

Stop! For just a minute stop.

Think! What really must be done today? Why? Does it add to the bottom line? Does it improve a relationship? Is it really productive?

Is your time being spent in real conversations with amazing people that will make things happen? Or is your time wasted in lazy mental busyness tasks or conversations about things that will never happen?

So, next time you say you “are too busy”, join me in asking yourself why? Why am I busy? Why aren’t I being productive? What am I avoiding by being busy? Why am I getting in the way of my own success?

Copyrighted 2014

Reduce Anxiety Anywhere Anytime

“Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power.” (Unknown)

You can reduce your anxiety anywhere at anytime through this simple method of breathing. The reason it works is that it manages you anxiety at a physiological level. The simple truth is that when we get anxious we hold our breath. Our bodies then start to panic because we are not breathing and that further increases are anxiety because our brain is saying, “Oh my I cannot breathe! Help!” and our anxiety increases further.

Learning to manage your breathing can significantly reduce your anxiety through the mastery of the simple breathing technique below. The main purpose is to slow your breathing and heart rate which decreases the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream which prevents hyperventilation. Subsequently your blood pressure and muscle tension will decrease with an increased ease and calmness in your mind and body. With practice, this breathing technique will let you decrease anxiety anywhere at anytime without anyone ever having to know you are doing it.

I recommend practicing this exercise several times a day so that it becomes habitual. Giving yourself a physical cue may help initiate the breathing response more quickly when you are in severe distress. For example, forming an “OK” symbol with your thumb and pointer finger or laying two fingers across the inside of your wrist. Something simple, easy to do, and not obvious to others will be the most help.

Breathing Instructions:

1. Take a normal breath in through your nose with your mouth closed.

2. Exhale slowly with your mouth closed.

3. On exhaling, say the word “calm” or “relax” very slowly-for example, “c-a-a-a-l-l-l-m-m-m” or “r-e-e-e-l-l-l-a-a-a-x.”

4. Count slowly to 4 and then take the next normal inhalation.

5. Practice this exercise several times a day, taking 10 to 15 breaths at each practice.

You can use this method when you find yourself in any number of anxiety provoking situations. Do you ever find yourself… Taking an exam! Arguing with your partner! Being given a hard time by your boss! Listening to your children fighting! With way too much going on around you! Running late! Under pressure at work! With too much to do and not enough time to do it! In the slowest grocery line ever! Unable to sit still! Catastrophizing again! Wanting to cry! If so join the crowd and remember that you can relax by simply mastering the simple art of breathing!

“When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.” (Unknown)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8579294

Copyrighted 2014

I Feel Crazy, Am I?

You may feel crazy but I assure you, you are NOT crazy. You are flooded with emotions, physical feelings that are a re-experiencing of the traumatic event(s). You have body symptoms, intrusive memories and flashbacks that are especially frightening when you have no idea why you are feeling like you do. On top of it your feelings do not fit with what is going on around you.

You could be at the grocery store and see a shirt like the one your father wore when he fondled you the first time at age 7. You feel as if you are 7 again and as if your father is inappropriately touching you again. Yet you know at some level that you are at the grocery to get milk and eggs, you really are 45 years old and that you are a physician with her own practice. Yet you move between the past and present struggling to understand what is going on. If you do not slip all the way into the past (full flashback) and disassociate (lose time) then you will probably be able to get out of the store and get yourself to a safe place. Until you understand what is occurring, and even when you do, it is a terrifying to have and fear it will continue to resurface.

The good news is that once you begin to identify these symptoms you can begin to use some techniques that will help you to ground yourself in the present. A couple simple things that you can tell yourself is “It is not happening now.” “I have already survived it.” “I am safe right now, right now I am safe.” “Nothing or no one is hurting me right now.” “I feel terrible but I am ok.” You may have to tell yourself this a 1000 times but the feelings will pass and you will eventually move from feeling shell shocked into a more ‘normal’ range of feeling for yourself.

If you would like to decrease or eliminate your PTSD symptoms please contact me. Research based treatment for PTSD is effective in 85% of the cases with a reduction in symptoms of more than 70%. You can do more than survive, you can thrive.

 

Copyrighted 2014