7 Good Reasons to hire a Life Coach

We hear a great deal about the benefits of life coaching these days. Here are a few.

Change your life

Your life will change. Probably for the better. Remember change can be difficult because humans like to remain in homeostasis. Coaching will give you the best result when you are ready to dive in without reservation.

Face the truth

Good coaches tell you the truth. This is important because often no one else will do so. Change requires we acknowledge reality.

Drop your story

You will have to drop your story. We often create ourselves as victims in our lives. A coach will challenge you to own your life, and take responsibility for it.

Show up

You will have to show up. Coaching requires you to show up, do the work, and keep coming back even when it gets tough. I rarely take anyone for coaching at less than a six-month commitment. True transformation takes time, and most people want to quit when things get tough at about the 8 to 12-week mark. Be prepared to stay the course.

Drop the ego

You will come face to face with your humanity, and you will have to let go of your ego. Face your true self. find self-compassion and self-love.  For many this is the greatest struggle of all but necessary for building intimate and supportive relationships.

Letting go

You will have to learn to love what is, and what is not, and come to trust that the world is unfolding as it should without you directing the process.

Find Peace

You will find peace in this moment, and then in the next, and what starts as a challenge will become a positive habit.

Want to hire life coach?

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Transformation: Eight Reasons You Don’t Want a Coach

Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.

Rick Warren

This may seem like a strange blog for a coach to write but I find truth telling immensely rewarding. I find it interesting that most people respond so well to truths. So here are a few regarding why you do not want to hire a coach.

Life Changing

  1. Your life will change. Probably for the better. But change can be difficult, and honestly, we humans like to remain in homeostasis.

Truth Telling

  1. They will tell you the truth. If you don’t like to hear the truth even when delivered in a kind way. Don’t hire a coach.

Drop Your Story

  1. You will have to drop your story. We often create ourselves as victims in our life. A coach will challenge you to own your life, and take responsibility for it. And well that just sucks sometimes.

There’s a Cost

  1. It will cost you money. Good coaching rarely comes cheap. And we rarely invest fully unless we put some skin in the game. Coaches want individuals that want to change and are willing to put their money on the table to prove it.

Showing Up

  1. You will have to show up. Coaching requires you show up, do the work, and keep coming back even when it gets tough. I rarely take anyone for coaching at less than a six-month commitment because true transformation takes time and most people want to quite when things get tough at 8-12 weeks.

Humanity

  1. You will come face to face with your humanity, and you will have to let go of your ego. Face your true self, and find self-compassion and love. For many of us this is the greatest struggle of all.

Trust

  1. You will have to learn to love what is, and what is not, and come to trust that the world is unfolding as it should without you directing the process.

Peace

  1. You will find peace in this moment, and then in the next, and it will be a challenge each day to stay in this moment, not in the past, or in the future.

Transformation

It would seem the things we desire are also they things we run from. It takes immense courage to go for things we desire but more than that it takes grit and tenacity. The start of the journey is easy. It is staying the course that remains the true challenge for most of us. A coach is a sojourner through the tough times. A coach helps you through those times with a perspective that is unattached to the outcome yet loving and compassionate. Take a coach on your next journey but only if you want to reach the finish line.

Still don’t want a coach? Great contact me let’s talk!

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I Don’t Need a Life Coach

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
Thomas Jefferson

I have often heard, “I don’t need a coach… I have a coach, it’s my mom, my dad, my friend, or my spouse!”  I smile to myself, because that translates to “I don’t want someone to tell me the truth.” I don’t want to do my best.” “I don’t want to be faced with the insight and awareness.” “I don’t want movement in my life.” “I want to stay safe, snug, encumbered in that which is comfy to me.”

 

A Coach Speaks Truth

I get it. My coach pisses me off on a regular basis, and I love her for it. She isn’t my parent, my friend, or my partner. She is solely there to tell me the kind truth to assist me in growing myself and my business, in helping me to continue to create the life I want to live! She helps me understand more deeply my life, my challenges, and assists me in moving the boulders in my life out of my path so I can continue to move on in my journey!

 

Why Do the Greats Hire Coaches?

Imagine the great sports player, musicians, actors, actresses, or CEO’s saying I’ve hired my parent, spouse, friend as my coach. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. I’m saying that managing that dual role successfully for both individuals is rare.

 

What does a Coach do?

A coach doesn’t talk to you. A coach listens to you. Reflects it back to you. Tells you the truth in a way that you can hear it, take in, and transform yourself from it. A coach is detached from the outcome. They have their eye on your goal and don’t get sucked into the drama of your life. They fly above it or below it, providing you with a view that you cannot see when you are in the midst of it.

A coach holds you responsible for your life and doesn’t fall for the story you have bought in to about your life, and the people in it. They help you remove every obstacle you have constructed to stop forward movement in your life, so that you can create the life you want. Your coach will love you and challenge you. They will show you how to move up and stay high on the emotional ladder. They will tell you to slow down until you actually, s l o w  d o w n. Live in the present moment, and find happiness right here, where it has been all the time.

Who’s coaching you?

The Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach

Life the Unfolding Flow

I would love to live like a river flows

Carried by the surprise

Of its’ own unfolding.

John O’Donohue

I love metaphors, and the quote above speaks to me. As much as I have worked to create the life I want there is still the surprise of how life unfolds, of the opportunities that present themselves to me, as I flow down this river of my life. The doors that open, and the ones that close. The wonderful people I have met. The teachers (metaphoric) I have encountered (not always wonderful, but necessary for my own growth). I have been astounded by the love and generosity of people throughout my life both in times of hardship and of success.

The river of life of my life has been periodically exciting, slow, tumultuous, and challenging as it has unfolded before me. There were times sitting on the shore made sense, and other times when paddling down the raging rapids felt like exactly the right thing to do. I would like to tell you that I have always made the best choice but all I know is that I have chosen, as the river of my life has unfolded, and there have been discoveries, lessons, wonders, and surprises along the way, never a dull and boring ride!

I have had moments when I wondered if climbing out of the river would be a good idea. Setting up camp, and just watching the river go by, and never wondering what is around the next bend. Yet I continue to choose to ride the river of life, to be surprised by its’ unfolding.

Are you sitting on the side of the river? Floating along at the river’s pace? Are you staying afloat through the rapids? Paddling against the current? Racing to get to the end? Whatever you are choosing, become aware of the surprises as the river unfolds. Be present to the gifts, the river brings you, enriching the moments of your life as it flows out before you.

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Six Tips for Selecting a Life Coach

Needing a life coach and wanting a life coach are two very different things. Everyone needs a life coach, only the wisest hire a coach. Wanting a life coach is about wanting to create a life that is better than the one that you have, and being willing to stretch yourself a little bit each day. Leaping tall buildings isn’t necessary, although you often find your super power while being coached.

So, you want a life coach? Good for you. Now who do you hire? This is the hard part, believe it or not, because becoming a life coach is easy. How do you become one? You start calling yourself one. A low bar to entry plagues the profession. However, not all life coaches are created equal! So here are some tips for hiring a life coach.

Read More

4 Fears of Life Coaching

For many hiring a life coach for the first few times is fraught with fear. However, it’s natural to be anxious about life coaching especially if you have never worked with a life coach before. Here are the fears I hear most often from prospective life coaching clients.

I won’t do it right.

Good news! There is no right or wrong way to ‘do’ coaching. In fact, I often say that there are no mistakes only ‘creative opportunities.’ If you would like to get the most from being coached it is helpful to be open minded and willing to step out of your comfort zone at least a little bit.  In stretching your comfort zone, you grow, and in that growth, you begin to create the life you want.

I will be judged.

Well trained Life Coaches are impartial observers and hold space so that you the client can explore your options without judgment and come to conclusions that are true for you. A Life Coach focuses on the positive assets you bring to the session, and the here and now, and not the past. No one but you knows what is right for you, and that is why life coaching is beneficial. Life coaching may challenge you to take the next step if you are ready, but life coaches do not judge you for not being ready yet. Life coaching grounds you in your own truth, keeps you focused, and on track to creating what you want out of your life.

It won’t be confidential.

Life coaches typically hold coaching conversations as privileged, unless they ask your permission to share something that might be helpful to others. In your initial conversation with a life coach be clear about your desire for confidentiality. There may be limits to the amount of confidentiality that a coach is willing or able to maintain. This is something to get clear about up front especially if your coach is hired by your company for you. Generally, there is an agreement that your progress twill be reported but details you share with you coach will not be revealed. So be clear with the coach you work with about the limits of confidentiality, before you begin coaching with them.

It won’t help.

Coaching won’t work for me. My experience has been that individuals get out of coaching the amount that they put into coaching. Willingness and openness again makes a significant difference in outcome for most things in life, coaching is no different. If you approach coaching with a learner’s mind, and an open palm you will reap rewards. If you don’t your rewards may be more limited or slower in coming. However, individuals progress at their own rate and there is nothing wrong with that approach either.

Remember that fear and excitement share a great deal in common at the physiological level. In fact, the only difference is breathing. That’s right! If you want to turn your anxiety into excitement for your first coaching session just remember to breathe, and give it a go!

 

Life Coaching in the Digital Age

Not Most Folks!

 

 

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