Stop Toe Dipping, Take the Plunge!

One hot AZ morning this week the beautiful blue pool was calling to me. As I sat on the edge of the pool and did some toe dipping the water felt cool and refreshing. The water felt great on my feet, ankles, and calves yet the rest of me baked in the sun. So another step deeper was needed, and “Oh,” it was a bit cooler but within less than a minute it felt good as my knees bobbed just below the surface, and my legs quickly adjusted to the new temperature. Despite the heat I was hesitant to take the next step. This step was much deeper, over my waist. “Did I want to cool off that badly?” “Maybe I should get out now!” Although that seemed a bit foolish since the sun was hot, and the pool refreshing, and well, I was half in all ready. I mean didn’t that defeat the idea of cooling off in the pool getting out while still half baked? And who knew how many chances I would get to enjoy this pool. So I took the plunge and for a moment I did regret taking that next step, “Oh, it was cold!” Yet the strangest thing happened. In a few moments I adjusted to it. Wow! Interesting! Next I decided to do some edge testing so I began to wade slowly toward the deep end, but that became almost torturous, so I decided to take the plunge. I held my breath and dropped to the bottom, and “Ah,” it was cold, but I survived, and well, you guessed it, in a few seconds I was refreshed! The water felt great! Viola, I had created a refreshing reality!

As I noted my approach to adapting to the temperature of the pool I observed the similarities with life. Each step into the refreshing pool created a challenge, a decision, to go back, stay put, or move forward. Each moved forward required facing the uncomfortable certainty of change, the adaptation to the change, and the joy of having reached this new place. The toe dipping, and knee bobbing were easy, and fun but as I moved toward the moment of totally being cooled and refreshed the biggest challenge came as I grew closest to realizing my momentary vision of being refreshed because the edge testing became torturous, and I had to choose, once and for all to take the plunge, or back away from the dream of that cool refreshing water.

Consider your life, your relationships, your work, your children, your education, your dreams, where are you toe dipping, knee bobbing, half baked, or edge testing? Where are you ready to take the plunge?

What’s in a Whisper?

What is in a whisper? I watch my mares in the pasture, and they whisper. They whisper to their colts, to each other, to the stallion, and to me. They whisper, and they are heard. They lead the herd with magic and grace with signs so subtle human eyes rarely notice but their whispers are not fIMG 20160519 084939 300x272 - What's in a Whisper?orgotten on the wind. The whispers of the lead mare move the herd to safety, find water, and food. The whispers keep them alive, the whispers are heard by the herd, the whispers are noticed. The whispers are a powerful form of energy that leads the horses to life.

When we whisper others listen. When we whisper people follow. When we whisper we are powerful. When we whisper we are heard.

Whisper today, and see the difference a whisper can make.

Moving West, a Perspective

Many years ago a colleague of mine recounted a story told to her by the Chair of her dissertation committee. He recalled that to graduate from one of his programs he had to write a paper that would be read by five random professors at his college that did not know him. He submitted exactly the same paper to each person. He recalled the responses were fascinating. The feedback he received was everything from “This is the best paper I have ever read,” to “This is the worst paper I have read.” So how could one paper be viewed so radically different by these five professors?

Perspective. Perspective is everything.

Likewise, for the most part the individuals in my life, friends, colleagues, and clients have been delighted about my new venture. Excited for me that I will be experiencing life in a new way as I coach, write, and enjoy my time in nature and with my animals traveling on the road. This response seems a no-brainer, someone doing something they want to do so you celebrate with them, even though it may on one hand be a loss for yourself. Yet I also received perceptions of my adventure as a loss for me (per them), or as a narcissistic, and selfish gesture.

Isn’t perspective interesting?

The fascinating thing about another person’s perspective is that it is theirs, not mine so for better or worse, it is not my issue it is theirs. To make things even better the really great thing about my perspective is that I can change it. I can decide whether it brings suffering or joy to me. The people that are choosing to celebrate my new adventure with me are choosing joy, coming from a higher place on the spiritual ladder so to speak. And for those that have chosen otherwise the good news is they can choose to step up the ladder anytime they desire.

Perspective is the way we decorate our world. How are you decorating your world today? Take a step up the ladder. The air is cleaner, the view is clearer, and life becomes much sweeter!

Jackie of All Trades, Mastery of None

“A friend of mine, twenty-nine and still looking for a cause, a purpose in life, said, ‘Our generation has been raised on the idea of keeping our options open. But if you keep all your options open, you can’t do a damned thing.’ It’s a problem: How can any one option, any one goal match up to the possibilities contained in all the others? … Ultimately, liberation comes through the acceptance of limits. You can’t do everything, but you can do one thing, and then another and another,” writes George Leonard in his book, Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment. 
 
Rereading Leonard’s Mastery, I have found the pure pleasure in slowing down. Doing one thing exceedingly well in this moment, and the next, and the next. Pure focus, pure practice. Turning off the noise bringing my attention to perfecting in this moment whatever it is I am doing. Choosing to not be “busy.” I chose only a few very important things to say, “yes” to in my life.
I listen, I share, I listen some more. I ride, I reflect, I ride some more. I write, I review, I write some more.
What are the most important things in your life? Slow down to speed up. Your partner, your children, your work, your life. Be present to it, practice it, one step and then the next step.
Building a business? Start with one person, connect with them. Listen to them. Invite them. Assist them through the use of your service or product. Nourish the relationship. Propose for them to work with you only if it will serve them.
Mastery. Seek it. Treasure it. Enjoy each and every moment of it.
Synopsis of George Leonard’s Mastery …
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What Legacy will You Leave?

 That is your legacy on this Earth when you leave this Earth:

how many hearts you touched.

Patti Davis

Legacy is in one sense the concrete things you leave behind. Yet legacy is far more than things, legacy is the quality of all the energy you leave behind. Will it be positive or negative? Will it be love or fear? Will it build up or tear down? Will it heal or harm? What will you leave behind? Will you leave the world better than you found it?

Character Matters to Relationship Quality

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.
Anthony Robbins

The quality of our lives my be the quality of our relationships, however the quality of a relationship is based on the character of the individuals involved in that relationship. Successful relationships are formed by individuals with characteristics that enable the relationship to thrive.

What characteristics help your relationships thrive? What characteristics do you want to develop in yourself?

Relationship Makers or Breakers

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.
Mother Theresa

Relationships are about belonging. What makes or breaks a relationship? Belonging is a major component of maintaining a relationship. Belonging is an emotional connection with others that creates an inner peace. So, how do I know I belong?

I belong when someone…
– pays attention to what I am saying and doing.
– really hears what I am saying.
– empathizes with the story I am telling.
– can reflect the essence of what I am sharing.
– respects my words, thoughts, and beliefs.
– accepts me as I am without trying to change me.
– honors the boundaries I assert.
– can share who they are with me.
– can tolerate my directness without distress.

How do you know when you belong?

Here is a great video by Sue Johnson, PhD.

How to Love/Belong Intelligently

 

Principles of Great Relationships

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw
Certainly, the Golden Rule has value yet Shaw’s quote makes us reflect on the principles of great relationships. The basic principles of great relationships, according to Williams and Thomas, are to remember that people are different, so treat them accordingly. Next, build the esteem of others which motivates them through love, and not fear. Love is far more potent. Third, interact with others with choiceful behavior using the facts before you, and absent habitual reactions of the past. Last, remember that when we like ourselves, we like others, and others like us.

Which principle will you focus on to take your relationship from good to great today?

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Diverse relationships are crucial for paradigm shifts.

Extraordinary Relationships

Creating extraordinary relationships requires regular emotional deposits, and minimal withdrawals.
Stephen Covey


Who doesn’t want extraordinary relationships? I love my extraordinary relationships. Don’t you? What makes them extraordinary? Emotional deposits are one thing that makes a relationship extraordinary.

When am I making emotional deposits? When I create acts of kindness, keep promises, have and honor clear agreements, speak well of others in their absence, apologize, and forgive. However, it is not enough to just make emotional deposits I must minimize emotional withdrawals. Emotional withdrawals can be acts of unkindness, broken promises, unclear expectations or non-existent agreements, disloyal in word or deed, never apologizing, or never forgiving.

Are you making more emotional deposits than withdrawals in your relationships? Are you wondering why your relationships are not extraordinary? What actions will you take to make more emotional deposits today in order to begin to make your relationships
extraordinary?

Freedom from Fear

Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success.

Martha Stewart
Closed minds exist because we are afraid to move out of our comfort zones. We can spot a closed mind by noting excuses, and rationalizations. On the other hand open mindedness comes from natural curiosity and the desire to discover new information. Open mindedness comes from practicing the management of our thoughts through visualization, affirmations, positive verbalization, acting as if, feeding our minds with the right stuff, associating with positive people, and by teaching others what you learn.
Today how can you open your mind 5% more?