Reflection through a Mirror named Self-Compassion

First learn to see yourself, then learn to see others, last help them to see themselves.

Mme Ehrenfried

Humans are amazing.

Yet we can be absurdly unaware of ourselves. There are times when other’s can see us more clearly than we can see our own behavior.

In a profession such as mine we spend a great deal of time getting clear about ourselves, our history, and our reactions to the world around us. We develop skills to effectively manage and cope in the world with kind choice, and loving deliberation. We do this so that we can learn to see others clearly, and then help them to see themselves more accurately.

This is no easy task for us or them. It is an ongoing work of self-discovery, unfolding the layers, and serving so others can more effectively help themselves and others.

It is for this reason that we take this humbling journey so that we can with love and compassion assist others to be more loving and compassionate with themselves, and others. In this way we pass goodness and compassion from person to person into the world and we offer a kinder more loving place to be.

Set Limits Like a Jenny

Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect.

Anonymous

It’s her fault, not mine. It’s his fault, not mine. She made me do it. He makes me angry. The language of victims, not owners of their lives. Abdicating the responsibility of our choices is disempowering, and as adults we are ultimately responsible for our feelings, choices, and responses.

In my life, the animal world has served as a wonderful teacher, and metaphor for learning lessons. Here is one I learned from a couple of my little friends.

Gypsy is a Jenny, yes, a little donkey. A miniature to be exact. She hangs out with Mr. Q another mini. He brays too much. He pushes her around at times, until she has had enough of that then she sets a limit, usually a sound kick to his head with both hind feet. Ouch! Really, you’d think he would learn.

When she sets a limit there is no question that enough is enough. Mr. Q being the smart ass, he is respects her limits. One intelligent dude if a bit hard-headed.

Are you setting limits? Good limits? Are you holding those limits? If not remember Gypsy, she is always good at giving us reminders! Setting good limits early on is best. It keeps you from having to be shall we say as forceful as Gypsy!

Or are you like Mr. Q? A bit pushy? Do you get surprised when someone sets a hard limit? Do you respect the limit? Is there a way you might be more aware of your impact on others and soften your approach? A more collaborative approach might be more useful.

The Quest for Boundaries: Honoring Limits, Your, and Others

Boundaries are Invisible Things

Who are You?

How did you answer the question above?

What beliefs do you hold about yourself?

Are those beliefs helpful or hurtful to you?

Do these beliefs move you toward the life you want?

Or do they create obstacles in your mind that limit your possibilities?

You choose what you believe about yourself (Yes, you really do).

Is it time to get rid of those unhelpful thoughts?