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WHY ARE WE SO FRIGHTENED BY EMOTIONS?
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EMOTIONS DEFINED
What are Emotions?
Emotions defined simply are body sensations to which we apply labels that typical are learned in childhood. Emotions are central to the human experience; they are not flaws to be overcome or secondary occurrences. At a physiological level, they are our natural capacity for empathy and connection. They serve as a "gateway" to intimacy, helping us understand ourselves and relate to others with curiosity and compassion.
Why are People Frightened of Emotions?
People often fear their own emotions and the emotions of others for several reasons:
The Feeling of Being Overwhelmed: Emotions can feel like they "get in the way." We may become "flooded" and appear overly emotional, or conversely, shut down and appear distant when the internal feelings become too intense to manage.
Loss of Control: Because emotions can be intense, many people spend their lives running from them or burying them in work, distractions, or substances to avoid the discomfort of facing them.
Fear of Vulnerability: Avoiding feelings often feels "safer" in the short term. There is often a fear that if we cannot tolerate our own intense feelings, we will be unable to provide a safe space for the people we love to share theirs.
Lack of Tools: Many people are frightened because they were never taught the skills to relate to their feelings skillfully. Without these tools, emotions feel like a barrier to mental health and wise decision-making rather than a productive part of life.
Ultimately, while avoiding these feelings may seem easier, it often leads to feeling isolated and disconnected. Learning to "dance" with emotions is essential for a meaningful life defined by true connection that we call intimacy.
