Unprocessed issues from our histories when triggered create intense feelings. Shame is often one of most hidden and unprocessed emotions for many of us. Shame thrives and grows in darkness thus the unshared becomes magnified. Let’s look at shame more closely.
Shame is the feeling that we are deficient and undesirable. We fear that someone that we hope will deeply enjoy us will find out. If that occurs we fear being overwhelmed by it. Shame does magnify within us when a it is exposed to the light, but like mold the more it is exposed it diminishes. This is especially true when someone whose opinion matters to us finds out one of our “dark secrets”. Exposure is the key fear of shame but it is also our greatest weapon against it. Shame is an experience of something dreadful we have or believe we have done being exposed and/or there is a possibility of someone important to us finding out. If that possibility exists, the terror of future exposure becomes in our minds many times worse and more agonizing then the exposure itself. Please watch, read and complete the following items about shame and guilt and how to manage them. The final PDF deals with other less discussed feelings that emerge from trauma.